frostythehitman

[ the real question for this inbox: have they taken eren to costco yet

what this comment really is about: being woken up at 3am with a shriek so high pitched, you’d truly think there was a woman somewhere in the apartment. one who’s soon sobbing horridly, like they’ve just seen jack fall to the depths of the ocean, or mufasa getting trampled. major emotional leaks here, enough that even the dogs give a startled bark or two.

after a few moments pass, eren goes into the kitchen, lights dimmed to a golden glow so he can

attack the fridge

slip on some headphones

and go watch transformers 3, with a face that just screams (hah) crying, and a mouthful of magic ice cream. there’s nothing wrong with this picture. snot, tears, dairy products and giant robots go hand in hand at 3am. ]

[ James wakes up startled at the sound of screeching and immediately has one of his knives in hand, assuming someone has broken in and started attacking. As he sneaks out of his room and into the rest of the apartment, he hears what sound like wracking sobs, and something starts to sit wrong in his stomach. Is this really some attacking home invader? This doesn't sound right.

He drops all attempts at stealth when he catches sight of the culprit and just stands dumbfounded. James doesn't think he's ever seen Eren cry before, much less shoving spoonfuls of ice cream mixed with snot and tears into his mouth at 3am. He doesn't say anything, instead just looking somewhat baffled and uncomfortable. He gets the feeling that maybe he should turn around and go, except he's standing in plain sight and is pretty sure he's already been spotted. ]

[ eren only truly feels a presence when james comes into his peripheral vision, pulling one of the headphones off of his ear and—

he can’t say anything, because his mouth is literally more than full, but he does, after a brief exchange of stares, hold out the carton to him. want some? the screen is playing some intense transformation scenes and snazzy ass cars like the one in his garage. decepticons.

eren makes a face when he tries to forcefully swallow ice cream, at least to give him. some sort of explanation. he was hoping he wouldn’t wake anyone up, but in reality . . . neighbors are probably calling security, who will soon call the apartment and check in if everything’s okay. ]

It’s, [ hold on, he actually got most of this for akira but it just didn’t fit in mochi’s fridge. ] strawberry cheesecake.

[ Well. James tries to get rid of the knife in hopes that Eren doesn't realize he came out here with one, by shifting one side of his body just out of view from the kitchen and then flinging the damn thing across the hallway into his room. Don't worry about it!

He enters the kitchen now and grabs a spoon to dig in. He appreciates that Eren isn't outright bringing up whatever rattled him so bad because James is piss-poor at talking about these things and really rather wouldn't. Eating ice cream and watching a movie is something he can handle much better. ]

What are you watching?

[ James has never watched a Transformers before. ]

[ he’ll apologize for waking him up eventually, and — the glint that flies back into the guest room, was that eren’s stinging eyes in the way of reality? (actually: he doesn’t mind the knife, eren would’ve done the same thing if not immediately bolted into the room and attacked the first odd thing in sight).

what makes eren dead stare is not the apparent knife, no. he has to pull his headphones off and switch the sound to speaker mode. ]

Transformers 3. [ you know, with the dinosaurs at the end. ] You’ve probably seen the first one.

[ right

?????? ]

[ He shakes his head slowly. He's heard of the movies, sure, but he's never actually watched them. ]

[ like

a flat stare. he has to pause the movie. ]

You’ve never watched a Transformers? AltRim?

[ he gestures to like. all the expensive giant robot figurines littered around his house. he trusted you. ]

Oh, that's what those are from?

[ Or in other words: no, he has never watched any of those. ]

Every collection line, including Gundam.

[ but he just waves that off because that’s a whole different world. and here he was, ready to go tier three and show you magical alisa. with some doubt, eren hands over the ice cream bucket. ]

What did you watch as a kid? Literally.

[ because you were a kid not to long ago. ]

[ Every line? Jesus Christ, Eren.

James digs out a massive spoonful of ice cream and jams it into his mouth. He shrugs. ]

A bunch of different stuff. Paranormal. Snapping Sad. Laterama. I wasn't this level of into any of them, though.

[ He nods his head over at the figures. James never really got into fandom or merch for TV shows. ]

[ wow he doesn’t know those either. they are from different worlds. ]

Had it as a hobby since I was a kid. [ that and the electric drum kit out by the living room window, electronic because of neighbors— eren doesn’t really like the sound, but how else can he play at home! ] Dad would buy the kits to build them from scratch, and I went from there.

It’s been therapeutic for ages unless I build them wrong.

[ to which he’ll open his phone up and show a recent image: eren laying on the floor, what’s left of his visible face purple, while he curls up next to a half built mech. it’s got it’s arm on as a wing. and the wing for an arm. a literal ikea disaster. ]

[ James bursts out laughing. That photo is the true face of despair. Oh Eren. Once he's got the laughter under control, though: ]

You mean you build these? I just assumed you bought them like this.

The statue models, no. [ like the limited edition gypsy danger and 35 inch optimus prime, but there’s one nearby that he can reach for, it’s small— and he’s pretty sure he made this one a few months ago? it’s a mini lego model of the giant robots in star wars. he grabs another little model of, probably an altrim jaeger, that’s clearly built, glue and everything. one of his firsts. ]

But if drumming were the only other thing I do, I think I’d . . . Stress out like I did in high school.

[ James can't help but snort in laughter because, shit, ain't that the fucking truth. James and Eren are the same in a lot of ways, including this, apparently--James needed some outlets too, and when he lost them he just self-destructed his way out of high school.

He just doesn't quite understand this one. ]

So...how is putting these things together even any fun? It just looks like you're paying for broken goods and then gluing them back into what they should've been in the first place.

[ eren chuckles in return and raises his brows as he hands the little models over if james wanted better looks at them. they are toys, let’s admit, although eren would argue that they are COLLECTABLE FIGURINES. ]

That’s the fun part. There’s the challenge to put them together, [ and then he moves one of the little joints to the altrim jaeger, ] and the details you get when you do. [ it comes with functional ROCKET LAUNCHERS! ] And there’s customization VS straight building. But I like giant robots in general, so . . . These are a blast for me.

[ or eren’s just a nerd under. ]

[ James can hardly believe he's sitting here watching Eren play with his tiny robot toys while he talks about the ins and outs of the assembly. He can't help but laugh. Eren is so deeply interested in something so deeply boring. ]

God, no wonder you were Air Force. You're such a nerd.

Don’t start with that—

[ james!!!!!!!!!!! he’ll punt you!!!!!!!!! while eren’s smiles in a near sheepish way, he knocks james’ arm with a fist still holding his spoon. if anything, he’ll let the movie continue playing again for some background noise.

eren remembers the weird time it was back in july and august. he doesn’t remember going to air force, but . . . he doesn’t completely ignore the fact that things probably did happen. he had a life where his dad was still around, but on the other hand . . . their relationship was terrible. right?

it feels like a fever dream. ]

How much do remember of me in the Air Force?

[ Oh, right. He almost forgot about that weird memory shift. Reality shift? James doesn't know quite what it is. But whatever it is that Eren remembers and what he remembers don't quite line up.

He'd be more concerned about it if this wasn't just what life was like now. He shrugs. ]

Not much. It's not like I was in your unit or anything, I was just some army brat that happened to be living on the same post you were.

I do remember you were nicknamed Weewoo Guy after your CO made you run laps while shouting "weewoo." [ He can't help but grin slyly at that. He had nothing to do with it but oh it was a delight to witness. And then, looking more seriously, ]

...And you were one of the first people to find out I lost my arm. Gossip moves fast on post.

[ eren’s face probably (read: definitely) drops into a flat line at the mention of “weewoo guy”, but hell. he is not too much of a stick in the mud in that sense, and while he smiles— it isn’t a happy one!! he can feel these aren’t lies and he hates it.

and he was dumb enough to do something to make him do laps like a siren.

eren jaeger, in every life.

one of the firsts to find out, too. he remembered finding out, but— he wasn’t sure if he was quite the first. either way you look at it . . . eren sighs a little through his nose. ]

It’s been more than a year, already.

Since I lost the arm? Yeah.

[ He extends the metal arm and flexes the fingers on it, as if verifying that it is, in fact, real and functional. ]

You know, I went back to having a normal arm right after I died for a few days. It was weird and uncomfortable--I think my brain forgot how to handle the sensation of touch from my left arm. Plus, I couldn't do stuff like punch through brick walls anymore. It's probably messed up, but I was relieved when I got this one back again.

Edited 2019-01-19 07:28 (UTC)

[ eren thinks back on what he did remember about james when he lost his arm. teenage rebellion at its absolute finest, eren must say. down to the anger and fighting anything that moved. maybe attempting murder. ]

Not as messed up as most of us are. [ he says with a light heart (even though it has a much deeper truth to it, lbr). ] What’s worse is that I can’t see any of us without these things we’ve gotten. Or at least it’s hard to imagine.

Speak for yourself, I still wake up every morning thinking I'm gonna see an 18-year-old in the mirror.

[ But then his expression grows more somber, because Eren's right. All the memories and the regains he's received, they feel so fundamentally a part of him now that he might as well be a different person than he was before this Retrospec stuff ever started. All these regains aren't just from some guy from some other world, they're him. ]

...But that's probably gonna stop eventually too. Someday I'm gonna wake up and just--be a 36-year-old man. Like this is how old I'm supposed to be.

[ He doesn't know how to feel about it. He certainly doesn't like that thought--but is that even going to matter, once he gets used to being like this? ]

[ oh, christ.

you know, that’s not something he thought about? and with that smile that used to be there . . . it’s now equally somber. ]

You think we’ll forget everything?

[ at the same time that there’s relief on eren’s shoulders, human relief— there’s also worry. he does not want to walk backwards.

even if what he’s become is questionable, eren doesn’t want to lose it. he doesn’t want to lose everything he’s learned. pain aside . . . pain, he can handle. lifetimes and lifetimes worth of teachings, and experiences, and what made him him now— he couldn’t get that back. ]

I don't think we'll forget. I just think it's gonna be hard to tell what came from where. Like, I'm not gonna forget my life before this [ he gestures at his grown self ] but eventually it'll just seem like I'm supposed to be like this. It's all just...us.

[ He already has a hard enough time telling apart his regained memories from the 'real' ones. It's all started blurring together. Did he die of a fake suicide in prison? Or falling off a rocket? They both feel equally as real in his mind.

James has even given up on articulating the difference between himself and his other self entirely. He only bothers differentiating now when the people he's speaking to seem to care about the distinction. ]

So.... you know how I thought I had teleporting powers?

Turns out I don't.

I can pass through things.

INBOX

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject