Anyway, this was the reaction she just about expected, so the fact that Bucky stomps on over and yells that, she just flees. Immediately. She runs away from him. ]
... I didn't want to eat anyone, but my hunger got worse as time passed to the point that I lost myself. The scientists always told me not to eat people and monsters, but my instinct...
[ But at this point, she's not sure if she's trying to make excuses to justify herself. She shakes her head. ]
... Sorry, that you had a monster living amongst you. Sorry... that I tried to pretend to be one of you.
[ sorry, he's going to need a minute here. first to punch--idk, a tree? a wall? then to sit down on the ground, head in his hands, tugging at his hair, as he thinks of what to do with that. ]
...Ain't nothing wrong with being a monster--or wanting to be better. [ breathes in. ] But if you want to be better, then this is one of those things that you get help with. You can't just--let yourself be a ticking time bomb.
[ Bucky can take his time. Narja won't go anywhere unless he storms at her again. She's still peeking from the corner. ]
... I just don't understand. It wasn't... this bad for at least twenty years. I've never eaten someone, but the things that happened here... sped it up. I've done what I could do try and suppress my instincts, but it still wasn't enough... I don't know how. Even if I ate a cadaver or a corpse, I think... I would still lose control. I can't think of a solution...
The scientists told me that I shouldn't be eating people or monsters. I also had limited interactions with everyone, since I was stuck in a lab... and I didn't have any desire to eat any of the scientists.
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w2, saturday
anyway, when he finds narja, he just stomps up to her. i'm sorry. ]
What the fuck is wrong with you!
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Anyway, this was the reaction she just about expected, so the fact that Bucky stomps on over and yells that, she just flees. Immediately. She runs away from him. ]
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anyway the way she flees has him simmering for a few minutes and reconsidering his next few words. Repeatedly reconsidering.
He just starts yelling so that wherever she is, she might hear him. ]
If you had to eat human flesh, you could have just said so! We could've figured something out!!
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...
She peeks out from a corner. Bucky can see her clearly. ]
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Anything other than eating someone alive!
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... I didn't want to eat anyone, but my hunger got worse as time passed to the point that I lost myself. The scientists always told me not to eat people and monsters, but my instinct...
[ But at this point, she's not sure if she's trying to make excuses to justify herself. She shakes her head. ]
... Sorry, that you had a monster living amongst you. Sorry... that I tried to pretend to be one of you.
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Fuck.
[ sorry, he's going to need a minute here. first to punch--idk, a tree? a wall? then to sit down on the ground, head in his hands, tugging at his hair, as he thinks of what to do with that. ]
...Ain't nothing wrong with being a monster--or wanting to be better. [ breathes in. ] But if you want to be better, then this is one of those things that you get help with. You can't just--let yourself be a ticking time bomb.
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... I just don't understand. It wasn't... this bad for at least twenty years. I've never eaten someone, but the things that happened here... sped it up. I've done what I could do try and suppress my instincts, but it still wasn't enough... I don't know how. Even if I ate a cadaver or a corpse, I think... I would still lose control. I can't think of a solution...
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Even if you lose control, at least if it's a corpse, it's no harm done! [ well. relatively. ]
...if you've never eaten someone before, what do you normally eat?
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[ So coming here was so eye-opening for Narja. ]
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Fuck.
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... I lived for a long time with that instinct with me. Maybe it's because of the new stimuli...
[ More people! More blood! Yippee! ]