frostythehitman | W2 CURFEW: PARTY ON THE HOWLING ROSE

Oh, great! Good to know that we used this one-time-only super powerful magic rock on a kid who used it to try and kill someone!

[ He drags his hands down his face and takes a deep breath. ]

Alright, fine. You want me to say so? Here: sometimes, life is just unfair and people suffer when they don't deserve it! And Jeanne nearly died because you just couldn't accept it and let things lie!

[Everyone else, just chill while Bucky yells at an awkward teen. Okay, he definitely makes an anxiety face at that. He isn't capable of just standing there and being yelled at without getting anxious. But he's trying to?]

That. . . that's not true. [He seems insecure in saying that but he's not, he's just fighting against his desire to flinch.] She didn't nearly die. And she was glad that I used it. She didn't want to hurt anyone.

[ this is hurting me, but Vezda does not give a shit. ]

He wouldn't have even been able to do so much damage if he could've felt himself getting hurt! It shouldn't have been an issue! And he didn't deserve that rock treatment besides.

[ If emotionshare is still happening, Mob might detect a hint of...self-loathing? ]

[This. Doesn't surprise him at all. Someone already explained to him that Vezda lashes out with his feelings when he feels bad. So, knowing that, he can't be angry with him for it.]

He did deserve it. Even if the timing was wrong, he didn't deserve to get hurt.

Even when he was trying to kill?

I don't like that he chose to do that, but he did not deserve to be hurt.

Did he deserve to not get hurt more than Jeanne?

I didn't know he was going to attack her. [Firmly, because so many people he trusts have reminded him of this.] No one knew that. Not even you, Vezda-san.

But. . . [He's quiet for a second.] I still don't believe either of them deserved to get hurt. And also, I don't believe Ruler-san deserves to have to hurt somebody, either.

Are you really angry on her behalf? And if you are, then. . . did you talk to her about it? Do you even know how she feels about what happened?

[ He can't hold the angry face much longer--soon it crumples in agony and he stomps away to sit down on the floor, head buried between his knees. ]

I know. I know. Just--fuck!

[Just watching him while he melts down.]

It's okay. She wasn't killed. Sometimes mistakes happen, but this time it was okay.

If you could've kept her from getting hurt at all, would you call any of that okay?

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frostythehitman - 2020-10-20 04:18 (UTC) - Expand

[ HELLO? ]

...Is this not the first time you've had this conversation with him, Vezda? That's enough.

[Tugging his sleeve. He knows he's making a face, but.]

It's okay. I asked him to tell me how he feels.

[ giving mob a worried look, brows furrowed. ]

Shigeo... [ :c!!!! ] There's no point in beating a dead horse - what's done is done, and letting him vent frustration on you on a night when all of us are certainly worried or scared will do nothing to change it.

[ but, he'll back off if you really want him to, giving a little nod. ]

Edited 2020-10-16 03:03 (UTC)

[He understands, and yes, nothing will change, and yes, tonight is murder night, but. . . ]

I already know how I feel about what happened with Kano-san. So. . . it's okay.

But. . . if I do something that someone thinks is bad, they need to be able to tell me that. [He's grateful, that so many people want to protect him, but. But.] What if someday I make a decision that is really wrong?

...If you do, then... just know that the world does not repetitively need to drop lessons on you in the form of a landslide, when it could be learned just as easily with one rock.

[ but. ] ...I'll respect your wishes, if you're sure, though. [ xie lian says, and - normally he'd give mob a pat on the head, but he doesn't want to shock him, so.

ruoye wriggles out of his sleeve, and the bandage gives him a little pat, pat on the head instead. ]

[He's pat! It's fine.]

He needs to hear it if he doesn't understand.

[ xie lian is calm as ever, reflecting easily in his words. ] Do you really think you're the first person to tell him that his actions had consequences - or do you believe that he's too young to understand them on his own?

At this point, it is only salt in the wound.

So, what, I'm just supposed to let it lie?

I never said that - and I don't think that anyone has let it lie, either.

The point of a mistake is not to relive it, over and over, but to learn from it, and move forward from it. Venting your fury will do nothing but cause more pain for the both of you.

Miss Jeanne is alive, with treatable and healing wounds. Kano is not. Someone out there still has a jewel with a similar power to his. That is the state of things now, and that is what matters.

[ fuck you for being right!!! fuck you!!! fuck you!!!!!!

Vezda hates this. He hates that he fucked up so bad last week, and he hates that he's wallowing about it like a dumb ineffective baby in front of everybody, making a fool out of himself. Isn't this what he does, push past his mistakes and make up for them by doing better next time?

(This is always what gets him--sure, he believes in actions speaking louder than words, in fixing his mistakes rather than apologizing--but no action can bring the dead back to life. That fuckup will always weigh on him, no matter how he tries to atone for it.)

He wants to punch something, but that would just make this even more of a tantrum, wouldn't it? So he clenches his fists at his sides and pretends it's enough. ]

Trust me, I know, and I'm not letting them get away, and I'm not letting a mistake like this happen again.

But I can't just let this go.

[ 'This' not being Mob's usage of the rock. It was never really about that anyway. ]

[ ah...

recognition flickers across xie lian's face, and his emotions at this distance, too. there's familiarity, and a little sadness to it, but he stays calm, brows knitting together with concern, though it's for their entire situation. not just this. ]

...I know, that you know. We all do. [ just like what xie lian says means a lot more than what's happening with poor mob right now. he speaks gently, but firmly, too, though his emotions bear nothing but genuine sentiment behind what he says. he feels for bucky, right now. ] And being trapped here, knowing that means what occurred will happen last week will most likely happen again is no boon to that, either.

It is not a bad thing, to remember, and to learn, but to linger will bring resentment and cruelty towards those who don't really warrant it.

[ he pauses, for a moment, glancing over his shoulder, and then returns his full attention back to bucky. ] ...Will you come and take a walk with me for a little while? This ship is quite large, and I'd like to get a lay of it, just in case something ends up happening here.

[ he hopes not, but. each murder so far has been in many places, so he can't even rule out the howling rose.

...and besides, it would be nice to have something to do that feels productive. at least, that's how xie lian feels right now, knowing what must be coming. ]

[ Oh thank god, a task. Vezda clings to it like his life depends on it.

Not that he sounds grateful for it, the way he's posturing and growling angrily about it. ]

Fine. Whatever. Let's go.

[ "This ship is quite large, and I'd like to get a lay of it, just in case something ends up happening here." THIS DID NOT AGE WELL

anyway!! xie lian's going to take him off to investigate. the least they can do is take stock of some of the things on the ship, right? check out the weird treasure chests and the crates and stuff.

xie lian is good company. he's fine to let bucky just be grumpy and posturing, honestly used to this behavior from someone he used to spend a lot of time with. instead, his emotions this close just radiate calm, soothing energy. this, basically, as they head below deck and away from the situation.

talk whenever you're ready to vent, buddy. ]