Not right now, but then you went and took surgical tools to yourself when you looked just fine before, so what do I know?
[ Anyway, that's when another glitter shower sends them into another memory.
You're on a small island in the English Channel, passenger to the motorcycle Cap is speeding as fast as he can to catch this rocket. Unfortunately, it starts to take off before you can catch it. But you've never been one to give up so easily, especially not when the stakes are so high. Not when the goal is so close you could touch it.
You leap. You're not sure what you can do from here now, but something is better than nothing. Cap has jumped on now too, after you, and he's urging you to drop off the rocket while you can, before it gets too high, before this becomes certain death. But you ignore him and keep crawling up further, further, looking for anything you can do, even as Cap cuts his losses and lets go himself.
Now--this is where the memory gets a little fuzzy--because honestly, you can't remember anymore the exact details of this rocket. It might be boobytrapped, and you barely get the chance to notice it. Or boobytrapped, but you hold on in a desperate attempt to deactivate it. Boobytrapped, and you try to jump off, honest to god you really do, but your sleeve gets caught on the machinery and you're stuck. Not boobytrapped at all, and you intended to down the plane at any cost.
Whatever the case may be, one thing is crystal clear: the burst, the shrapnel, the all-encompassing heat, nothing but searing bright light and fire in your eyes, in your throat, in your bones. And for a brief second, through all-encompassing pain, the peaceful azure sky beneath you. The dark and turbulent waters, above you and rushing closer. Then, you shatter, and nothing. ]
That's not--[ sighs ] I don't remember exactly how it was set up [ because lol thanks comics for making it slightly different in every retelling! ] but I know it was meant to blow up cities full of innocent civilians. I just happened to interfere and set it off early.
[ They know a thing or two about dying and coming back alive, outside of the murder game thing. That being said, even he thinks he would have a hard time getting back up from a literal, point-blank explosion. And as far as he can see, there isn't much physically fucked up about Bucky outside of the whole, you know, arm thing. ]
[ It might be but it also mostly isn't. However, he will stop needling Bucky with questions because they can get blasted with another bit of annoying stardust. Bucky will see Kai kind of raise a hand to cover his own face with an annoyed expression before being sucked into a second mem, but things are different this time.
The sound of falling rain, a permanent, subtle pressure around his head from bandages wrapped tight around his skull, a different one from within that feels fit to burst. He wanders the streets and flags down two sorcerers just on their way out of here, summoning a door. He asks them to take him with them, because he's one of them -- a sorcerer, just like them.
'Prove it,' they say. So he tries... but nothing comes out. No matter how hard he tries, he can't make any smoke, and the two of them look a mixture of mocking, insulted, and more.
'You fucking mocking us, kid?' they laugh. So they beat him until his consciousness goes black, right there in the streets, and leave his body to lay there rotting. The rain doesn't cease, and the torrent of corrupted rain washes down the gutter where his upper body lay, the acid eating away, corroding. Blackness, and nothing else.
...And then, it's like being in a strange dream, for who knows how long, 'til the next he groggily opens his eyes. Heavy rain again, even worse than he ever remembered. It seeps into the ground and soaks into his skin, and he shivers as the threads of consciousness gather together. He... he seems to be buried. So he crawls out of the ground, bursting from the mud and sludge --
...He's in front of a gravestone, halfway buried in the ground, his body all skin and bones.
Aimless and weak, he begins to wander. First towards home, but nobody answers as he rings the doorbell. He turns back and meanders the dirty city, but nobody sees him. Things had changed. Buildings he once knew were gone, events that once weren't suddenly were, and he recognised not a single face, and none of them in turn, him. Everything he once knew was gone, several years having passed. Not a single person sees him, and he walks through the city roads as if he were invisible. A mere ghost.
He stands there at the end of the road, mouthing invisible words, grown-out hair matting his front, drenched by the falling rain.
'...There's no one here... ...There's nothing here.'
He throws an empty, fresh coffin into the ground and flees, heading... somewhere. ██████████ is dead... so he should go to...
At that moment, a piercing headache seizes him, taking over. He rocks back and forth as the headache reaches unimaginable, unbearable levels, and then -- literally, his head splits. He can't fathom what he's looking at -- a second spine, a second head. He meets a pair of eyes, adorned with red crosses, and in that very moment, recognition hits him. No, not for who the face was, rather, what it was --
But then the memory ends there. Notably, the guy himself across Bucky stumbles backwards, clutching his head, grunting low in pain, fingers digging into skin... but then, he warily, very warily looks towards Bucky, and he can see that the crosseye marks are... fading? ]
[ wow!!! these sure are some fucked up memories!!! bucky doesn't fully understand what's going on here, of course, but he gets what he needs to know: Aikawa, or Kai, has died before too. And then buried to boot--no wonder his reaction upon showing up here was so weird. He's a man out of time too, but they don't share the same brainwashing issues like Bucky had thought. No, apparently they're just...straight up multiple people in the same guy? Multiple personalities? Multiple people molting out of the same body somehow?? Whatever, he doesn't quite get it, but the point is, dude is freakin out. and...maybe doing a molting?
Bucky steps forward, arms held out and ready to help at a moment's notice. ]
[ STOP DON'T CALL IT A MOLTING I'm losing it. His rolodex of heads is very complicated. That being said, he looks at Bucky like a wounded animal would -- regretful, more than a little scared, apprehensive. No more crosses! ]
[ NO!!!!!!!! Though Bucky's and your apprehension is understandable. But he's gonna... awkwardly start... scooting towards the nearest door or whatever, GET HIM OUT OF HERE. ]
[ Bucky doesn't know what to do here. Let him go and give him space? Force him to stay and confront...whatever he's feeling right now? Bucky has no clue.
Is this what Steve felt like, watching him struggle with his own regained memories?
....well, while Bucky is having this little dilemma, Aikawa/Kai/??? will find that he can't leave--or at least not before some more glitter kicks off another memory!
RJ gets to reconnect with his dad. Bucky even helps give the man a new life, a second chance free of debt to be with his son. But something still stinks, and after a bit of digging, he finds that this family reunion isn't quite as innocent as it seems.
Aikawa does look like he wants to be slinking out of here -- not because of anything Bucky did, but more because of his own guilt and awkwardness. The person Bucky'd been speaking to up to now is someone he'd rather ignore and pretend doesn't exist, and what is he supposed to do when someone he considers a friend by all accounts has to see it? And that's not even considering the memories piled on top of that.
But as he's trying to slink away, he pauses, and wilts a little, glancing back at him. It's a test of will, to run away and ignore Bucky's trauma being laid out before him in favour of trying to sweep away his own, or to not.
Some distant part of him, a different facet, feels pity. Points an accusing finger from the back of his mind, asking him 'do you think ███████ felt like that?'. ]
[ WHEN WILL THIS SPECIFIC MEMORY COME BACK FROM THE MEMSHARE WAR
now we are both in a standoff of being frozen in place wondering what the fuck to do. And Bucky thinks of another conversation he had. About trying your best, and even if it goes tits up, making the best of it anyway. He thinks the best thing, in the long run, is probably Talking It Out. Therapy and shit that they both very clearly need.
Bucky doesn't know how to give therapy. But... ]
Uhhh...do you wanna get some apple juice? I bet they have some in the kitchen.
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I'll do it as necessary. Why do you care?
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[ also he quite likes aikawa, but he's not gonna just say that! ]
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[ Unfortunately this one is a BITCH also give me your memory nerd. ]
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[ Anyway, that's when another glitter shower sends them into another memory.
You're on a small island in the English Channel, passenger to the motorcycle Cap is speeding as fast as he can to catch this rocket. Unfortunately, it starts to take off before you can catch it. But you've never been one to give up so easily, especially not when the stakes are so high. Not when the goal is so close you could touch it.
You leap. You're not sure what you can do from here now, but something is better than nothing. Cap has jumped on now too, after you, and he's urging you to drop off the rocket while you can, before it gets too high, before this becomes certain death. But you ignore him and keep crawling up further, further, looking for anything you can do, even as Cap cuts his losses and lets go himself.
Now--this is where the memory gets a little fuzzy--because honestly, you can't remember anymore the exact details of this rocket. It might be boobytrapped, and you barely get the chance to notice it. Or boobytrapped, but you hold on in a desperate attempt to deactivate it. Boobytrapped, and you try to jump off, honest to god you really do, but your sleeve gets caught on the machinery and you're stuck. Not boobytrapped at all, and you intended to down the plane at any cost.
Whatever the case may be, one thing is crystal clear: the burst, the shrapnel, the all-encompassing heat, nothing but searing bright light and fire in your eyes, in your throat, in your bones. And for a brief second, through all-encompassing pain, the peaceful azure sky beneath you. The dark and turbulent waters, above you and rushing closer. Then, you shatter, and nothing. ]
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I don't think you have the right to tell me off about physical health.
[ AND THAT SEEMS TO BE THE ANSWER HE ARRIVES TO. SASS!!! ]
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That man told you not to.
[ He really is just getting sassed now. This is all said very deadpan and matter-of-fact btw. ]
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[ Why wouldn't you just make the cockpit impenetrable or something?? ]
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[ They know a thing or two about dying and coming back alive, outside of the murder game thing. That being said, even he thinks he would have a hard time getting back up from a literal, point-blank explosion. And as far as he can see, there isn't much physically fucked up about Bucky outside of the whole, you know, arm thing. ]
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But then the memory ends there. Notably, the guy himself across Bucky stumbles backwards, clutching his head, grunting low in pain, fingers digging into skin... but then, he warily, very warily looks towards Bucky, and he can see that the crosseye marks are... fading? ]
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Bucky steps forward, arms held out and ready to help at a moment's notice. ]
...you okay?
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Uh -- Bucky...
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...what? What's going on? [ IS SOMETHING ABOUT TO HAPPEN? DID HE TRIGGER ANOTHER MOLTING? ]
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[ NO!!!!!!!! Though Bucky's and your apprehension is understandable. But he's gonna... awkwardly start... scooting towards the nearest door or whatever, GET HIM OUT OF HERE. ]
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Is this what Steve felt like, watching him struggle with his own regained memories?
....well, while Bucky is having this little dilemma, Aikawa/Kai/??? will find that he can't leave--or at least not before some more glitter kicks off another memory!
It dumps them first into a cabin out in the forest...
RJ gets to reconnect with his dad. Bucky even helps give the man a new life, a second chance free of debt to be with his son. But something still stinks, and after a bit of digging, he finds that this family reunion isn't quite as innocent as it seems.
And it only goes downhill from there. ]
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Aikawa does look like he wants to be slinking out of here -- not because of anything Bucky did, but more because of his own guilt and awkwardness. The person Bucky'd been speaking to up to now is someone he'd rather ignore and pretend doesn't exist, and what is he supposed to do when someone he considers a friend by all accounts has to see it? And that's not even considering the memories piled on top of that.
But as he's trying to slink away, he pauses, and wilts a little, glancing back at him. It's a test of will, to run away and ignore Bucky's trauma being laid out before him in favour of trying to sweep away his own, or to not.
Some distant part of him, a different facet, feels pity. Points an accusing finger from the back of his mind, asking him 'do you think ███████ felt like that?'. ]
...Uh...
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[ WHEN WILL THIS SPECIFIC MEMORY COME BACK FROM THE MEMSHARE WAR
now we are both in a standoff of being frozen in place wondering what the fuck to do. And Bucky thinks of another conversation he had. About trying your best, and even if it goes tits up, making the best of it anyway. He thinks the best thing, in the long run, is probably Talking It Out. Therapy and shit that they both very clearly need.
Bucky doesn't know how to give therapy. But... ]
Uhhh...do you wanna get some apple juice? I bet they have some in the kitchen.
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... ]
Thought you didn't like apple juice with the way you judged the shit out of me a few weeks ago.
[ It's as best of a joke as one can joke in this situation, but he nods. Yeah, we need a lil drink. ]
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