Look, just--tell me you're not about to start hacking away at your own head again, okay? And that whatever the hell you did then didn't give you brain damage or something.
Not right now, but then you went and took surgical tools to yourself when you looked just fine before, so what do I know?
[ Anyway, that's when another glitter shower sends them into another memory.
You're on a small island in the English Channel, passenger to the motorcycle Cap is speeding as fast as he can to catch this rocket. Unfortunately, it starts to take off before you can catch it. But you've never been one to give up so easily, especially not when the stakes are so high. Not when the goal is so close you could touch it.
You leap. You're not sure what you can do from here now, but something is better than nothing. Cap has jumped on now too, after you, and he's urging you to drop off the rocket while you can, before it gets too high, before this becomes certain death. But you ignore him and keep crawling up further, further, looking for anything you can do, even as Cap cuts his losses and lets go himself.
Now--this is where the memory gets a little fuzzy--because honestly, you can't remember anymore the exact details of this rocket. It might be boobytrapped, and you barely get the chance to notice it. Or boobytrapped, but you hold on in a desperate attempt to deactivate it. Boobytrapped, and you try to jump off, honest to god you really do, but your sleeve gets caught on the machinery and you're stuck. Not boobytrapped at all, and you intended to down the plane at any cost.
Whatever the case may be, one thing is crystal clear: the burst, the shrapnel, the all-encompassing heat, nothing but searing bright light and fire in your eyes, in your throat, in your bones. And for a brief second, through all-encompassing pain, the peaceful azure sky beneath you. The dark and turbulent waters, above you and rushing closer. Then, you shatter, and nothing. ]
That's not--[ sighs ] I don't remember exactly how it was set up [ because lol thanks comics for making it slightly different in every retelling! ] but I know it was meant to blow up cities full of innocent civilians. I just happened to interfere and set it off early.
[ They know a thing or two about dying and coming back alive, outside of the murder game thing. That being said, even he thinks he would have a hard time getting back up from a literal, point-blank explosion. And as far as he can see, there isn't much physically fucked up about Bucky outside of the whole, you know, arm thing. ]
[ It might be but it also mostly isn't. However, he will stop needling Bucky with questions because they can get blasted with another bit of annoying stardust. Bucky will see Kai kind of raise a hand to cover his own face with an annoyed expression before being sucked into a second mem, but things are different this time.
The sound of falling rain, a permanent, subtle pressure around his head from bandages wrapped tight around his skull, a different one from within that feels fit to burst. He wanders the streets and flags down two sorcerers just on their way out of here, summoning a door. He asks them to take him with them, because he's one of them -- a sorcerer, just like them.
'Prove it,' they say. So he tries... but nothing comes out. No matter how hard he tries, he can't make any smoke, and the two of them look a mixture of mocking, insulted, and more.
'You fucking mocking us, kid?' they laugh. So they beat him until his consciousness goes black, right there in the streets, and leave his body to lay there rotting. The rain doesn't cease, and the torrent of corrupted rain washes down the gutter where his upper body lay, the acid eating away, corroding. Blackness, and nothing else.
...And then, it's like being in a strange dream, for who knows how long, 'til the next he groggily opens his eyes. Heavy rain again, even worse than he ever remembered. It seeps into the ground and soaks into his skin, and he shivers as the threads of consciousness gather together. He... he seems to be buried. So he crawls out of the ground, bursting from the mud and sludge --
...He's in front of a gravestone, halfway buried in the ground, his body all skin and bones.
Aimless and weak, he begins to wander. First towards home, but nobody answers as he rings the doorbell. He turns back and meanders the dirty city, but nobody sees him. Things had changed. Buildings he once knew were gone, events that once weren't suddenly were, and he recognised not a single face, and none of them in turn, him. Everything he once knew was gone, several years having passed. Not a single person sees him, and he walks through the city roads as if he were invisible. A mere ghost.
He stands there at the end of the road, mouthing invisible words, grown-out hair matting his front, drenched by the falling rain.
'...There's no one here... ...There's nothing here.'
He throws an empty, fresh coffin into the ground and flees, heading... somewhere. ██████████ is dead... so he should go to...
At that moment, a piercing headache seizes him, taking over. He rocks back and forth as the headache reaches unimaginable, unbearable levels, and then -- literally, his head splits. He can't fathom what he's looking at -- a second spine, a second head. He meets a pair of eyes, adorned with red crosses, and in that very moment, recognition hits him. No, not for who the face was, rather, what it was --
But then the memory ends there. Notably, the guy himself across Bucky stumbles backwards, clutching his head, grunting low in pain, fingers digging into skin... but then, he warily, very warily looks towards Bucky, and he can see that the crosseye marks are... fading? ]
[ wow!!! these sure are some fucked up memories!!! bucky doesn't fully understand what's going on here, of course, but he gets what he needs to know: Aikawa, or Kai, has died before too. And then buried to boot--no wonder his reaction upon showing up here was so weird. He's a man out of time too, but they don't share the same brainwashing issues like Bucky had thought. No, apparently they're just...straight up multiple people in the same guy? Multiple personalities? Multiple people molting out of the same body somehow?? Whatever, he doesn't quite get it, but the point is, dude is freakin out. and...maybe doing a molting?
Bucky steps forward, arms held out and ready to help at a moment's notice. ]
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[ Thinks. ]
It doesn't happen here.
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[ Aka usually when Kai shows up there is literal Head Asplode but not here to lower the ratings because it's actually awful. ]
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[ Not exactly the most comforting of answers, but. You know. ]
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Great. Sure. Fine. Whatever. As long as you're not going to do it again. Right?
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I'll do it as necessary. Why do you care?
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[ also he quite likes aikawa, but he's not gonna just say that! ]
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[ Unfortunately this one is a BITCH also give me your memory nerd. ]
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[ Anyway, that's when another glitter shower sends them into another memory.
You're on a small island in the English Channel, passenger to the motorcycle Cap is speeding as fast as he can to catch this rocket. Unfortunately, it starts to take off before you can catch it. But you've never been one to give up so easily, especially not when the stakes are so high. Not when the goal is so close you could touch it.
You leap. You're not sure what you can do from here now, but something is better than nothing. Cap has jumped on now too, after you, and he's urging you to drop off the rocket while you can, before it gets too high, before this becomes certain death. But you ignore him and keep crawling up further, further, looking for anything you can do, even as Cap cuts his losses and lets go himself.
Now--this is where the memory gets a little fuzzy--because honestly, you can't remember anymore the exact details of this rocket. It might be boobytrapped, and you barely get the chance to notice it. Or boobytrapped, but you hold on in a desperate attempt to deactivate it. Boobytrapped, and you try to jump off, honest to god you really do, but your sleeve gets caught on the machinery and you're stuck. Not boobytrapped at all, and you intended to down the plane at any cost.
Whatever the case may be, one thing is crystal clear: the burst, the shrapnel, the all-encompassing heat, nothing but searing bright light and fire in your eyes, in your throat, in your bones. And for a brief second, through all-encompassing pain, the peaceful azure sky beneath you. The dark and turbulent waters, above you and rushing closer. Then, you shatter, and nothing. ]
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I don't think you have the right to tell me off about physical health.
[ AND THAT SEEMS TO BE THE ANSWER HE ARRIVES TO. SASS!!! ]
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That man told you not to.
[ He really is just getting sassed now. This is all said very deadpan and matter-of-fact btw. ]
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[ Why wouldn't you just make the cockpit impenetrable or something?? ]
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[ They know a thing or two about dying and coming back alive, outside of the murder game thing. That being said, even he thinks he would have a hard time getting back up from a literal, point-blank explosion. And as far as he can see, there isn't much physically fucked up about Bucky outside of the whole, you know, arm thing. ]
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But then the memory ends there. Notably, the guy himself across Bucky stumbles backwards, clutching his head, grunting low in pain, fingers digging into skin... but then, he warily, very warily looks towards Bucky, and he can see that the crosseye marks are... fading? ]
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Bucky steps forward, arms held out and ready to help at a moment's notice. ]
...you okay?
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